It’s been almost a month since I last posted.
Final training day
We had our final training day on 14th April which was all about the matching process and Theraplay. We were the only couple in the room from our original group and so it was a little sad not to be with some of the lovely friends we made.
Theraplay is amazing and my new favourite thing. We were given a list of play
Small games which encourage closeness, nurture etc. we had to practice in the room and I felt a bit of an idiot. I hate the fact that I’ve lost my ability to play. Looking forward to finding my playful self again with little ones.
The never ending forms
We’ve been filling in sooo many forms for stage 2:
Support network – a diagram of your likely support
Expectation – describe what type of children you’d like – what kind of challenges you could handle (as tough as they say); our understanding of behaviours and how we would deal with it.
Dealing with contact – what could we accept
Motivation to adopt – what led us here, how have we dealt with the grief of not having our own birth family
There’s more but I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
We’ve got a system where I’ll draft one, then he’ll draft one then we’ll swap. I’m sat on my laptop in the nice warm lounge whilst he sits at the desk in the cold office – through choice.
So weekly meetings continue with our SW and we continue to hope she understands us.
The pen picture
We send a pen picture. 300 words about us. This is the biggy, the marketing elevator pitch about us and what kind of a family we are hoping for. The first version was met with a ‘too marketing’ response. I wasn’t particularly happy with it but we weren’t given an example so it was a stab in the dark. After our meeting yesterday we’re much clearer. What kind of lifestyle do we live, are we looking for a sibling group, approximate ages – this will help potential child social workers to quickly rule us in or out apparently. If they like what they see they’ll read our PAR. The PAR stands for prospective adoption report. Anyway, the big document that will go to our adoption panel.
We’re 51 days or 7.5 weeks from panel on 18th June. It’s gone incredibly fast.
Do you understand us?
We’ve had our last but one meeting with our SW where we talked about concurrency and fostering to adopt as well as keeping ourselves safe from situations such as inappropriate behaviour from a child who has suffered sexual or physical abuse. Bloody awful conversations to have and you can’t help but drift to the sickened mind of an adult who thinks it’s ok to do this stuff.
We also talked about our increasing formal experience with ‘strangers kids’. We’ve not been teachers and we’re not parents so that puts us in the category for needing extra formal experience. Working full time this is a challenge. More about this in my next post.
It was only as she was telling us what was right and wrong about our pen picture that we began to understand how she sees us. It was a bit of a relief to be honest. She sounds positive and we’re talking when, not if.
So we’re only about two-three weeks away from reading our PAR that our SW is writing. She likes what we’ve written in parts and will use it along with her SW speak to inject some personality.
Next and final meeting on 12th May before panel possibly. I think I’ll talk about our feelings on matching on another post. This is already far too long.