Just read a blog that made my blood boil Parties and judgemental parents via the Adoption Social.
I want to send this link out to all my Facebook non-adoptive parent friends in the hope that this resonates. But I can’t because it’s still too early to announce that we’re thinking of adopting. Rest assured as soon as I can I will be banging the drum about the marginalisation and emotional bullying that takes place around children who’ve suffered trauma. And I’ll probably get myself in a whole heap of trouble…
I was quite a naughty child and easily led – surrounded by non adoptive sometimes naughty children.
When I was about nine I went to join the local girl guides group (alone). I was told that it wasn’t for people like me. I was surprised at the adult and it hurt a lot. I’d been treated this way before so I just shrugged and went to play in the street with my other ‘naughty’ friends.
Today I’m a happily married successful (some might say) business woman with lots of friends. My naughty behaviour as an adult turned into empathy for other from all backgrounds, assertiveness and a sense of humour. However, one of my character traits is to ‘strive’ or work extremely hard to do well… And fit in. It’s possible it came from often feeling I wasn’t good enough over much of my early life.
Several years ago I trained to be an aerobic instructor and who should turn up at one of my classes – the partially sighted daughter of the girl guide leader (sadly going blind through diabetes at age 25). I welcomed her with open arms despite it being quite a challenge to teach her along side a full sighted group.
Not sure what I’m saying with this little rant but this story touched a nerve.
Is the answer to go and speak to the parents to try and get them to understand the situation and impact of their behaviour? Most people are reasonable surly? Or is this me being naive?
I’ll be interested to learn about the pros and cons of telling other parents about my adopted children in future.