Decision to adopt – Stretch marks on the brain not the belly

I’ve just read a blog shared via The Adoption Social by Kat @on_the_edge. It was about the question from people ‘why do you choose to adopt?’ I wanted to reply but I wrote war and peace so here are my thoughts.

It’s made me think about our own reasons for wanting to adopt.

We’re just about to begin our adoption journey (6th Jan we hand in our Expression of Interest form – eek!) and the happiness and hope it’s brought is such a relief.

We had one round of IVF then aside from not being able to afford another, decided that we just didn’t want to go through the monthly stress. It was taking over our lives. I never thought or didn’t ever wish to be one of those people you hear about who can’t face meeting friends with new babies … But it crept up on me and it was a painful, lonely, sick feeling.

We’ve been told by our social workers that we need to use contraception as there’s no significant reason for our infertility. This is weird and has been the only fly in the ointment. This month however I thought I might be pregnant and rather than be happy it brought all those horrible worries back. Most significantly though I felt sad that we wouldn’t be able to give those children we see in Children who Wait a loving, safe and stable home.

I’m not sure I really ever wanted a baby, I just want a family. So I’m going to the doctor for contraception (sorry, prob too much info) and we are going to hopefully adopt a sibling group of two or three and build our family a different way. The only stretch marks we’ll experience is in our minds as we develop knowledge and understanding of how to parent children who have suffered trauma. Or if I eat too much chocolate !

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5 thoughts on “Decision to adopt – Stretch marks on the brain not the belly

  1. Nice post, your story starts almost identical to ours. It seemed like the strangest thing taking ‘precautions’.
    We are a bit further down the line now, but I wish you all the best in your journey and I look forward to reading future posts.

    1. Thanks Al really appreciate your comments, it’s weird blogging so honestly so I wasn’t site if it was too personal or bizarre a post!
      Where are you in the process? I’m excited and daunted about the what the next month will bring…

      1. Well, in December we received the adoption order of our daughter and will be having our celebration day with the beak at the court. Rather exciting.

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