First meeting over – chronologies not explored. We were slightly frustrated to be told for the umpteenth time about the process. Oh well patience, patience. We took all our documents and got 10/10 for following the process …can’t believe people don’t?!
We’ve at least met our SWs and work will begin in earnest at our three hour session tomorrow afternoon.
In the past week we’ve also been frantically filling in our stage one info which includes questions about experiences as a child, then as a teenager – what were you like in school, who was key in your life etc. it’s interesting to break your life down in this way and look back. I’ve since realised that my early years were very happy which I now understand is really important for a child’s basic development. My issues started from when my bro was born aged 6 and my teenage years were awful. I didn’t like myself much either. This will be interesting to explore with our SW when the time comes. Not.
Had our second training session on Friday. This was a challenging one as we discussed abuse, in particular sexual abuse. We talked about how children who have experienced this can ‘come on’ or flirt with an adult as it was a behaviour learnt. Unbelievably foster parents and adoptive parents have been known to sexually abuse children. The excuse being ‘they came on to me’ Christ almighty! These people make me want to cry.
So the conversation went something like – know your own sexuality. If this happens to you, you are the one that says ‘no’ this is wrong and seek help in dealing with it. Can’t believe we need to be told this but it’s not something that people may understand if they’ve never been exposed to sexual abuse. It may be that your child did not have sexual abuse as part of their history in the notes but they begin to show signs in later development.
It was such a hard hitting, sickening discussion to have. I say discussion but the group could barely speak.
On a brighter note, we’re forming friendships with our fellow adoptees and it’s all beginning to feel like a reality now.
DBS check done
References all back.
Home visit planned for 3rd March
In general excited but did have a melt down last week – but that’s another post.