We feel happiest and most secure with those who have ‘got our back’. This was brought home for me tonight when my five year old adopted son was calling out for me.
He is tired and hungry and life is all a bit difficult. He’s calling me in his saddest voice ‘mummy…mummy’, as basically he needs a hug and some reassurance after being told off for fibbing. Breaks your heart doesn’t it. I think back to 12 months ago and he didn’t even know what a mother’s love was. His relationships had been all about the father figure and my husband was the numero uno. Things have changed so much.
It got me thinking about what makes us truly connect with someone. My guess is because he knows I’ve ‘got his back’. When our connection breaks, it eats him up – like it does mine I guess.
Over the last 12 months, I’ve been there to pick him up from school as I said I would. I’ve been there when he burnt himself and spent hours in A&E in pain. I’ve been there when he was heart broken that his sister wouldn’t play with him, that the boys in the playground didn’t want him to play football with him… I’m guessing its because he knows that no matter what, I‘ve got his back. No, I REALLY have his back. I care deeply about him and I guess he feels this.
It reminds me of Sally Donovan’s inspirational book and blog about her adoption journey ‘No Matter What’.