Adoption is not the easy answer to completing your family

children perfect family

Recently I was asked if I would be prepared to speak to the media to represent the our adoption agency for National Adoption Week.  I had no problem with speaking to the media as I do it for my job however, I am worried about the realities of ‘promoting’ adoption as I wouldn’t wish what we have been through on anyone.  That said, I couldn’t imagine life without our two adopted children either.

Having not blogged for over a year, I looked at my profile and read my About Me section it read:

We worked together for years before getting together aged 36 (me) 42 (him).  We hadn’t realised we were right next to each other all that time. 

Married age 37, baby…37/38…er not happening???

So I’ve spent all that time avoiding pregnancy only to find that when I want it, it doesn’t happen – life sucks. 

But I have my soul mate…

WE WANTED A FAMILY… we dreamed of a family.  IVF round one fail.  £7k for next shot with 30% chance… do you know what, there are thousands of children out there looking for loving homes… Adoption kept appearing in many guises.  Conversations with strangers, newspaper articles, National Adoption Week 2013.

In late 2014 we adopted two little saplings aged 2 & 4.  This is our story..well as much as I can say in the limited time I have to say it. 

Ahh bless…how bloody naive do I feel!?  Looking at this now, we really were so desperate for a family that nothing would have stopped us.  I read books, blogs, social media etc but it simply doesnt prepare you for the changes to your life and your relationship.

Adoption is not for the faint hearted.  Your relationship WILL suffer.  They will find your inner child and prod all the awful things that you feel about yourself.  It sometimes feels that they won’t rest until they control you.  I can totally see the impact of secondary trauma on my husband and I, we’re exhausted.

So just in case I get asked, I am going to write a blog about what it’s like to adopt siblings.  Because if I speak from the heart its likely not to be as positively balanced as some might like.

So I’ve changed my About Me.   And made a note to myself to think about what would  happen if there weren’t naive people like me out there who would adopt these children even if it is tough for a while…

 

 

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