Thinking about National Adoption Week 2017 and the fact that there are now a higher number of sibling groups looking for permanent homes. Why we adopted siblings and what I would say to others considering how many children to adopt.
Our original thinking around adopting siblings
- Both my husband and I wanted a large family
- We wanted to keep children together. Being taken away from your parents is hard enough anyway, imagine being split from your siblings too?
- We were actually approved for up to four and even looked at groups of four – we were talked out of it by family and friends and eventually our social worker
- Our friends adopted three and they appeared sane
- We wanted to do it in one sitting so to speak, we didnt want to test the water with one then go through the process again
What’s great about the reality of our siblings
- We kept them together. In the future hopefully this will help their sense of identity and belonging that’s beyond what we can give them
- There are 15 months between our two children so they play together and keep each other company
- They lookout for each other all of the time. They love each other to bits.
- We learn about things and can pass it on to the second child
- Hand me down clothes are useful, ‘Its not a boys jumper… girls can wear it too’ – doesnt actually work so forget that one…
- They like doing different things like shopping… or football
What we’ve learnt about adopting siblings
- They dont get the one-to-one time they need to heal and bond
- You rarely get any time out, there is always the other to look after
- They argue like cat and dog
- They constantly try and get the other into trouble – they love seeing the other being told off
- They constantly demand your attention over the other
- Two of our friends have had placements that have broken down where the siblings probably shouldnt have been kept together. Much older children seem to have more issues so the younger child doesnt get the time they need
- Its a bit more expensive I guess
- If we had more than two I think I would have had a nervous breakdown, but then I guess you never know what you’re capable of until you’re in it