Step 1 – how many children are you looking to adopt? 2 poss 3
Step 2 – ages? Erm poss one preschool
Step 3 – gender? No preference
Step 4 – what challenges will you be willing to accept? I have no idea
This really is one of the hardest parts of the pre adoption process. Choosing your size and type!? On paper it’s like buying a car without a service history but knowing that you’re going to have it for life and what ever you get is going to have a massive impact on your life, you’re just not sure how. It’s horrendous.
We’re reading and watching programmes about beautiful children who are all gorgeous no matter what and at that moment I could (and want to) adopt them all.
Then when it comes to the form filling and you have to make a choice it really is tough – or you have to be tough.
Before panel or after panel – blows with the wind apparently
We’ve heard so many different stories about when adopters are matched with their children. One guy was matched with a little boy who he found at an activity day, one week before panel. Others are a year down the line and barely hear from their social worker.
So we were a little flabbergasted to be told by our SW that we shouldn’t begin looking until we are matched – WTF? Sorry but why is it one rule for one and not for another. When we first met our duo SWs we were told they would start looking for matches from May probably. This recent approach took the wind out of our sails somewhat.
So I asked our SW if there was a problem with us ? She said that we may get attached to children who are then matched with someone else as we’re 7.5 weeks off and she’s doing it to protect us. Phew! She had me worried.
On reflection we have quite a lot still to do with our house and to save a bit for my time off. So I’m not going to rush, life’s a journey not a destination and all that. Will be interesting to see how our fellow adoptive parents experience this.